No worries y'all! Lance Armstrong's bike HAS BEEN FOUND! WHEW! I was so incredibly worried about his bike. For real. 

Apparently, there was even a Facebook group started called "1 Million Citizens Looking for Lance Armstrong's Stolen Bike" - really? How come nobody wants to help me when I lose stuff? Nobody ever makes Facebook pages for my missing things. Anyway, only 1,282 people had joined the group by the time the bike was found, so that makes me a feel a little better, as a group for something like that is totally unnecessary and kind of dumb.